With Paul Tagliabue’s pending retirement, we’re reminded that NBA chieftan David Stern can’t go on forever. When and if the commisioner’s job is up for grabs, the New York Post’s Peter Vescey is quick to tout himself as a viable candidate, with the following changes to the league on tap :
I’d eliminate the silly semi-circle in front of the basket, fire any non-rookie referee who can’t distinguish between a charge and a block, and fine every he-man who plows through a defender rather than pulling up for a short jumper.
Or I’d move the no-charge circle out to the 3-point line so players can drive to the basket without fear of getting undercut and maimed.
I’d demand James Dolan close the Knicks and re-open the Wiz.
I’d change the league logo to Dwyane Wade.
Any player who makes the sign of a three after hitting a trifecta, pounds his chest following a big make, or raises his leg while dribbling (those are Damon Jones’ ears you hear ringing off the hook) will be subjected indefinitely to a Jim Gray interview.
I’d put Kobe’s January in a time capsule and play it at Shaq’s retirement dinner.
At least one of the Maloof brothers would have to get married.
The next coach whose team is up three in the final seconds and allows an opponent to launch a trey would be suspended and have to beg Chris Andersen for reinstatement.
I’d install a second shot clock on the edges to count the five-second inbounds plays and 10 seconds on free throws. It’d add some fun and drama to the game, like the tension that builds when the shot clock is near zero.
I’d stop pussyfooting around: Make ’em wear ties during games