While The Big Lead noticed the latest salvo in the Colin Cowherd v. Bill Simmons Pissing Match, the latter’s most recent ESPN.com chat has a telling bit of film criticism.

Though I must admit I’m a tad surprised Simmons finds the work of Judd Apatow as troublesome as that of Werner Herzog, as always, the dudes-night-out worldview oozes all over the Sports Putz’ writing.

I’ve seen “Knocked Up” and it’s a-ok for a laugh or 4 dozen. And while the prospect of Seth Rogan bagging Katherine Heigl — as Simmons’ own readers acknowledge — is pretty farfetched, stranger things have happened. Not, for instance, Bill seeing past the dubious import of “hanging with his buddies”, but we can dream, right?

If there’s a prospect scarier than a lifetime as The Most Whipped Man This Side Of Doug Christie, it’s gotta be partying with Sully instead. Or considering films through the limited prism of “chick flicks” versus “guy flicks”. How about those with an all-male cast, Bill, are those “guy flicks”? Or is there some tiny chance there are women (presumably those who find the charms of Page 2 elusive) who dig movies that don’t end with pregnancy and/or weddings?

If you wanna go through life as a total cliche, be my guest. The rest of us will continue to enjoy a cultural universe that couldn’t possibly suck as much as yours.