Though Norman Chad’s Sunday syndicated column was ostensibly meant as a series of apologies to the nation of Canada for a succession of offenses (Dwayne Wade disrespecting “O, Canada”, MLB pulling the Expos out of Montreal, Stephen A. Smith taking the Raptors lightly), the “Hold On, Honey, I’ll Take You to the Hospital at Halftime” author draws the line at the scenes of Raptors fans congregating in what’s come to be known as Jurasic Park :

There is one area in which otherwise sensible Canadians confound me: this whole notion of gathering outside Air Canada Centre in Toronto to watch the Raptors on a video screen in a plaza. Uh, do you really want to stand around for several hours surrounded by strangers eating and drinking to excess, all in close quarters? If I desired that, I would just go on a Carnival Cruise and take in “Mamma Mia!”

I mean, you either buy a ticket and go inside the arena or you stay at home and watch the game on TV; if you don’t have a TV, you can order one on amazon.com and have it in your living room within 24 hours. Who drives to the arena and then watches the game on a video screen outside the arena? I would have more respect for you if you drove to Best Buy, plopped down in front of a flat screen there and slipped a Geek Squad guy a double sawbuck to sneak you a Yuengling or two.