Graeme Thomson’s choices for the worst Covers Of All Time, from last month’s Observer Music Monthly:

1) Duran Duran -“911 Is A Joke”
2) Ronan Keating -“Fairytale Of New York” (“He changed the line: ‘You cheap, lousy faggot’ to ‘you’re cheap and you’re haggard’ because he ‘wouldn’t want to offend anyone’. He failed.”)
3) Frank Sinatra – “Something”
4) UB40 & Robert Palmer – “I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight”
5) David Bowie – “God Only Knows”
6) M People – “Itchychoo Park”
7) Johnny Cash – “Danny Boy”
8) Atomic Kitten – “The Tide Is High”
9) Candy Flip – “Strawberry Fields Forever”
10) Kevin Rowland – “The Greatest Love Of All”

Incredibly, none of the following made Thompson’s list :

Whitney Houston – “I Will Always Love You”
Paul Young – “Love Will Tear Us Apart”
Moby – “That’s When I Reach For My Revolver”
DC Talk – “All Apologies”
Puff Daddy – “Come With Me” aka “Kashmir”
Frankie Goes To Hollywood – “Born To Run”
David Bowie & Mick Jagger – “Dancing In The Streets”
Megadeth – “Anarchy In The UK”

(Dave Mustaine’s best friend)

more nominations, please.