(apologies to both Paul Stanley and Mark E. Smith for the above headline)

Though it trails on the priority list compared to tracking the development of Matt Harvey’s shaving habits and surveying the nation’s litany of angry dudes yelling into microphones, college basketball remains somewhere in the Top 2 of CSTB’s Favorite Exploitative “Amateur” Sporting Endeavors. For the past decade, the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided you, the loyal reader, with an opportunity test your college hoops savvy against myself (ahem) and a veritable all-cast of fantasy sports degenerates, and this year’s competition is no exception.

Though former CSTB contributor David Roth has profited wildly from the demolition of Death By Audio moved upward and onward, I cannot allow this annual tradition to go by the wayside (though it is pretty tempting — I sure as fuck have better things to do, even if most of you don’t). For those bemoaning the crushing loss of daily fantasy games that ran the commercial with the dude in the Patriots throwback rubbing his dopey face like he’s trying to pull the skin away from his useless head, REJOICE, because for the next 3 weeks you again have something to live for. Sure, the stakes aren’t nearly as that Draft Kings garbage, but I can offer the winner a box of 12XU swag and an autographed photo of #4 overall pick in the 2000 draft, Marcus Fizer.* So let the best person of any or all genders be the victor.

(* – still haven’t determined who is autographing the photo, I’ll get back to you about this).