Incredibly, Cubs 1B Derrek Lee has signed a 5 year, $65 million year contract extension and the Tribune Company didn’t even have to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field to pull it off.

Is Holy Water Dusty going to be the only guy on the north side not to sign a lucrative new pact this week?

(Red Schoendienst, Stan Musial and Lou Brock react with dismay at Mike Doskocil’s unusual rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner”)

Congrats to Mark Mulder, Jason Isringhausen, Albert Pujols, Will Leitch and the St. Louis Cardinals on their home opener victory over the Brewers, 6-4, and cutting the ribbon on their fancy new ballpark. If some longtime fans are cut out of the action ’cause they can’t afford tickets to this glittering new edifice, at least they can still do their part to end the city’s reign as America’s Gonorrhea Capitol.