From the Dearborn Press and Guide, a news source I read regularly, comes a tale of law enforcement at its finest. Or highest:

City officials will not pursue criminal charges against a Dearborn police officer that resigned in disgrace in 2006 after allegedly consuming brownies laced with marijuana recovered from a criminal suspect.

Edward Sanchez, a 30-year-old Dearborn Heights resident who served as a member of the Dearborn Police Department for nearly a decade, was allowed to resign following an internal investigation…

The department’s investigation began with a frantic 911 call from Sanchez’s home in Dearborn Heights on the night of April 21, 2006, when Sanchez told an emergency dispatcher he thought he and his wife were overdosing on marijuana.

“I think we’re dying,” Sanchez told the dispatcher in a tape obtained by the Press & Guide under the Michigan Freedom of Information Act.

We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do,” he continued…

Officers were unable to locate any of the brownies inside the home after responding the emergency call back in 2006; however, two uneaten cupcakes, which appeared to have been left out for several days, were found on the counter.

“We can’t arrest someone for that,” Tomkiewicz said. “We didn’t find any evidence of drugs, and without evidence, there isn’t a case.”

You may wish to hear the call. That’s natural. Just remember that, if these two minutes seem long to you, imagine how Edward Sanchez felt. So you know, by the time he starts talking about the Red Wings, it’s just about over.