(sadly, I don’t think anyone at the Post photoshopped this)

With Keith Van Horn apparently willing to accept $4.3 million to do, well, absolutely nothing (not the first time he’s been overpaid, mind you), the Mavericks appear to be on the brink of acquiring Jason Kidd. The emotional Nets guard spoke with the New York Post’s Fred Kerber and proved to be a tad sentimental, if geographically challenged.

“The nicest thing is being given a fair shot going back to Dallas,” Kidd said. “I just want to give a team a chance to win … There’s no guarantees. You’ve got to be healthy and have the ball bounce your way … I look at myself as an easy fit. You don’t have to call my number. It’s just a matter of me getting the ball to them at the right time and doing the little things.

“Jersey is a great city. It doesn’t get its just [due]. The state itself. The golf is great. The fans were wonderful. I wish them the best of luck,” he said.

A planned monument honoring Hakeem Olajuwon is said to be “Muslim compliant” in that it will not feature a picture or likeness of the former Houston center. In a slightly related story, the rest of the Toyota Center will observe Common Sense Compliance by halting construction on a statue to honor Steve Novak.