When it comes to change in Washington, there was only one old white dude who spoke at the Republican National Convention this evening who wasn’t absolutely full of shit. I’m talking about the guy who took the capital by storm in the ’80s, then spent the last few years battling the special interests in an attempt to take back the reins from the Beltway elites who think the only way to do things is their way.

My friends, you know who I’m talking about: the nattering nabobs of negativity who say it’s important to know how many timeouts you have and to occasionally mix some non-screen-passes and off-tackle runs into your offensive playcalling. Well, Joe Gibbs stood up to them last year, and he stood up to them again today in Minneapolis, when he made a speech endorsing John McCain for President. Did he wear a headset and that old “R” mesh hat? Did he forget where he was halfway through the speech and keep referring to Sarah Palin as “Rypien?” I don’t know. I just have the transcript, thanks to Brendan Flynn:

It’s a little awkward for me to put on a partisan hat. But, with all the media hype, I feel compelled to tell you where I stand. Tonight, I’m supporting … the Washington Redskins, who are taking on the New York Giants!

Actually, I’m not here to cheer on my favorite football team. I’m here to share with you some observations based on my personal experience, which included financial disaster, a serious health problem, and yes, putting together the teams that went to three Super Bowls and won three NASCAR championships.

These lessons can help us in any competition – whether it takes place in a stadium or in the political arena. In troubled times, it’s human nature to feel vulnerable and weak — like nothing is going your way and it never will. But I’ve found that the greatest challenges in life have the potential to call out our best virtues – to inspire and strengthen us.

I have seen it play out on the football field. I have seen it happen on the racetrack. I’ve seen it in the eyes of a child suffering from cancer. And the world saw it when John McCain was released from the grip of evil in Vietnam. It truly is a paradox that those who suffer can overcome extreme adversity and give the rest of us strength.

Faith is the reason…

By supporting the McCain-Palin ticket, I am confident that we are choosing the right game plan for America! I believe that electing John McCain and Sarah Palin will spark a return to God’s Word and a spiritual revival that will bring our nation together. God bless you, and God bless America!

Brendan offers some non-rhetorical questions in response to Gibbs speech: “Does God tell you to cheat at Nascar? To run the ball on every first down? To use the multiple H-Back formation as your base package? Is it God that calls the 6 yard out pattern on 3rd and 10?” The answer, to all of the above is, “yes.”