Reader Jim Laasko writes,

For several years now I’ve been working on a screenplay set during the Civil War where Shaq plays an escaped slave who gains the ear of President Lincoln (before ‘Weekend at Bernies’-style hijinks ensue), but this news report might very well make me give up in despair. Movies just can’t compete with reality when it’s this good.

As a sidenote, I’m assuming Shaq’s SuperFriends didn’t include fellow rapletes Tim Teufel or Rick Aguilera

(let’s hope George Foster is familiar with eBay)