As any overly paranoid member of the Chicago White Sox staff will tell you, Texas’ Ameriquest Field is a tough place to pitch. With this in mind, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram’s Jan Hubbard has the recently departed (as in, to ESPN, not the great beyond) Rangers exec Orel Hersheiser assemble The Perfect Pitcher for one of the big leagues’ most homer-happy ballparks.

If former Rangers pitching coach Orel Hershiser could create the ideal pitcher, a lefty, for Ameriquest Field, whom would he use?

“Stuff” : Johan Santana

Mind : Greg Maddux

Shoulder : Roger Clemens

Hands : Greg Maddux

Guts : Curt Schilling

Sinker : Derek Lowe

Feet : Kenny Rogers (above)

Height : Randy Johnson