The crew on ESPN’s NFL Countdown were merciless in their criticism of Terrell Owens’ admitted spitting in the face of DeAngelo Hall last night. Tom Jackson opined that he’d prefer to be sucker punched than spat on (I’d rather be taken out to dinner than either), while Mike Ditka said that if he’d been in Hall’s shoes, he’d have been waiting for Owens after the game “and I’ve have hit him as hard as I could.”
Sean Salisbury (above), perhaps overcompensating for the fact he’s not included in such fascinating discussions, went a tad further on ESPN Radio today. T.O.’s 6’3″, 220 pound frame “is all comestic,” sneered Salisbury, who declared Owens “a punk…who’s scared to go over the middle.”
“I’m from the old school,” puffed Salisbury, “just like Tommy, Coach (Ditka) and Michael (Irvin), and in our day, his own teammates would’ve taken him out.”
“And he leads the league in drops!” added John Seibel, gleefully.
Short of listening to Joe Theismann argue that Ricky Williams had disgraced the sacred uniform of the Toronto Argonauts, this might’ve been the most embarrassing on-air masturbatory sequence in ESPN Radio’s long history. It’s pretty undignified for the Worldwide Leader to provide a vehicle for the macho posturing of a grade-Z never-was like Salisbury. And how much guts is required to threaten a player you’re unlikely to encounter face to face?
If DeAngelo Hall or Bill Parcells take exception to Owens’ actions, as they well should, let’s hear from them. But where does a guy that earns a living verbally abusing John Clayton get off calling anyone else a punk, let alone a player who has persevered through numerous injuries, a suicide attempt an accidental overdose, and being ratted out by his own teammates?
Salisbury’s a chump, but here’s a fun game to play with his commentary: listen to what he’s saying, and try to find the coded pro-Bush message within. This is easier to do when he’s on Cold Pizza or one of the shows in which he’s encouraged to show up, be puffy, and shout. He uses the phrase “stay the course” a lot more than W. does, at this point.
today’s outburst was uncomfortably close to the time that Rob Dibble went ape over Shawn Estes inability to properly drill Roger Clemens. Dibs announced that he’d consider it “an honor” to be asked to defend a teammate and if Bobby Valentine wanted him to dust another player off, he’d do it, no questions asked. The fact Dibs was, y’know, retired at the time, didn’t seem to factor.
If ESPN or their bros in sports yack want to provide the expert analysis of ex-spursmen, I’m not necessarily bothered. I mean, Ditka and Steve Young aren’t the greatest commentators, but they’ve got some credentials to fall back on. But when the news broke about T.O.’s latest offense, how many of you said to yourselves, “I wonder how Sean Salisbury would’ve handled this?”