Is it Red Bull New York or the New York Red Bulls? I’m having a lot of trouble keeping track..and it might require a couple of cans of Sobe No Fear for me to really focus.

Either way, the artists formerly known as the NY/NJ MetroStars are leading DC United, 2-0 after 20 minutes. The newly named-Gotham franchise scored its first-ever goal on a spectacular, curling free kick from Youri Djorkaeff, sparking frenzied celebrations from the 800 or so fans bused to Washington by the energy drink manufacturer.

The reactions to Edson Buddle’s tap-in goal a few moments later were relatively subdued — I think everyone crashed. It’s gotta be hard drink that stuff all afternoon.

With apologies to Neville Southall and David Wells, Tony Meola is now officially the universe’s Least Athletic Looking Professional Athlete.

(UPDATE : NY Whatevers 2, DC United 2. The only thing worse than watching the former Metros’ 2nd half collapse is knowing that Freddy Adu’s key contributions will have have Michael Wilbon feeling vindicated — if he wasn’t watching Michelle Wie. Never mind that Adu wasn’t ready to play 90 full minutes at the age 7.)