Wednesday afternoon saw North London nivals Tottenham and Arsenal take their places in the FA Cup Quarterfinals, each winning away replays at Nottingham and Sheffield United respectively.

(Neil Warnock, telling Arsene Wegner that teen girls can’t throw for shit)

The latter contest was marred by a flung bottle narrowly missing Arsenal manager Arsene Wegner. A 14 year old girl was charged in the incident, with Sheffield United security boss Steve Hicks claiming to Sporting Life,

“From what we understand, the arrested girl was a local girl who had never been to a football game before in her life.

“She had seen all the crowds when the bus pulled up and had gone along to see what was happening.

“I don’t know what would possess anyone to do such a thing. Obviously we deplore that kind of behaviour, and the actions of the person who threw the bottle, but applaud the actions of all the others.”

All of which makes perfect sense — teenage girls are constantly getting swept up in crowds entering football stadiums, and being sneaky, untrustworthy types, have little difficulty smuggling in bottles or making their way to pricey box seats near the touchline. It couldn’t possibly be that Hicks and crew are doing a lousy job.