If newly acquired Dodgers CF Andruw Jones is battling the bulge to the extent claimed by fitness maven Bill Plaschke, perhaps he oughta try simply hanging around with Arizona’s Eric Byrnes. The Snakes outfielder is described by the Arizona Republic’s Lisa Nicita as “a fun-loving, free-spirited clubhouse clown,” which admittedly, sounds a tad more attractive than say, “one of the most annoying public figures in this country or any other”.

Byrnes’ unkempt hair and board-shorts-and-T style is comfortable, but it’s a “managed effort,” Tarah says. “He puts a lot of effort into looking like a surf bum.”

Byrnes’ garage holds a tricked-out conversion van and a late-model Jeep Wrangler. He’s a neurotic flosser. He sleeps only a few hours a night.

His iPod holds the latest, most popular songs that iTunes suggests. He’s “multicultural” when it comes to music, but when he’s at a club, he wants a good beat, he says, bobbing his head.

Byrnes admires Jeff Clark, a surfer who harnessed the 50- to 70-foot surf in a deadly California cove years before anyone else was brave enough to give it a try. He’s also obsessed with celebrity gossip, never missing an issue of Us Weekly or People magazine.

“Love Matthew McConaughey,” Byrnes says, looking much like the actor who recently captured attention for living in a motorhome on the beach.

Tarah Byrnes tries to pinpoint her husband’s most attractive feature, other than his handsomeness: “It’s an energy, a magnetism. . . . There’s something real. . . . You burn calories just being in the same room with him.”