…or failing that, the Devil Rays. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, shown above, throwing out the first pitch before yesterday’s Philadelphia/Tampa Bay tilt. Not shown, Clarence Thomas, searching for a clean can of Coke amongst the clubhouse spread.

After 14 years of big league service, 315 home runs and a propensity to swing at anything above his head or below his ankles, Jeromy Burnitz has declared his retirement. Doesn’t anyone want to play for the Newark Bears anymore?

David Wright and Carlos Beltran have each homered off former Mets prospect Yusmeiro Petit, as New York and Florida are tied at 4 after 6 innings. I don’t know if we’re on the cusp of the Lino Urdeneta Era, but if nothing else’s, there’s a good blog name in there somewere.