(most of the photos of Jon Conway on Google image search are rather dull, so here’s one of “Taxi”‘s beloved Jeff Conaway, instead)

And the substance in question wasn’t caffeine. If MLS’ expansion plans weren’t evidence enough that soccer is moving closer to the American mainstream, perhaps the domestic league having it’s own budding F.P. Santagelo (or two) makes the point.  From the New York Times’ Jack Bell :

Red Bulls goalkeeper Jon Conway and defender Jeff Parke were suspended Thursday by Major League Soccer for violating the league™s substance abuse policy.

The two players were suspended for 10 games ” the final two games of the regular season and the playoffs, should the team qualify. Conway and Parke were also fined 10 percent of their salaries after testing positive for androstatriendione (ATD) and boldenone metabolites, performance-enhancing substances that were purchased over the counter at a vitamin store. Conway™s salary this season is $115,000, while Parke was due to earn $58,487.

The Red Bulls (9-10-9, 36 points) are vying for one of two wild-card playoff berths and play Columbus on Saturday before ending their regular season next Thursday at the Chicago Fire.