…From me. They’re not necessarily the best tickets, but yeah: Make me an offer, America. The Washington Post has the AP rundown on yesterday night’s stunner at Rupp Arena, but John Clay of the Lexington Herald-Leader brings a bit more of a Kentucky accent to his autopsy.

The new Kentucky basketball coach wanted more practice time. He’s got it. He said this was too early to start a season. Now he gets a long layoff. He said that despite the victorious outcomes, his team wasn’t playing well. They proved him right.

Happy birthday, Billy.

Just don’t go jumping off any buildings. That advice goes not just to you, but everyone else as well.

Yes, Kentucky’s 84-68 loss to Gardner-Webb last night had to be among the most stunning, most embarrassing, most downright jaw-dropping in the history of Rupp Arena.

The Cats, 251/2-point favorites, were never really in the game, from falling behind 14-0, to never drawing closer than eight points in the second half.

You know the way the Kentucky football team played a week and a half ago in that 17-point loss to Mississippi State? That’s the way the basketball team played last night.

…Someone asked the coach about the boos from the Rupp patrons.

“We deserved it,” Gillispie said.

But let’s not forget that such performances, while extremely rare here, do happen.

There was another coach on the same bench who was all set to go to New York for the semifinals of an early-season tournament, only to see his third team be shocked 85-67 by Pittsburgh in Rupp in the second game of the season.

That coach was Rick Pitino. If I remember correctly, he turned out OK.

As has been noted elsewhere, Kentucky isn’t the first major national team to lose to a bizarro underdog already: Illinois lost to Canada’s Concordia, Michigan State lost to D2 Grand Valley State (and nearly lost to the vaunted Michigan Tech Winter Jackets, from the same conference as GVSU, last night) and Ohio State was defeated by Chuck Finley Hairdressing Academy Findlay College. Of course, those were exhibition games and last night’s Kentucky loss not only will surely lead to them being bounced from the Top 25, but send Gardner-Webb to New York for the semifinals of the Coaches Versus Cancer mini-tournament.

Actually, I’ll probably go anyway. Since the Knicks bought out Dan Dickau and the Clippers have (wisely) stopped using the dude, this might be my only chance to watch a guy who looks like Grayson Flittner play this year. Also, considering how much trouble the bulldogs I’ve seen on the street have just walking, I wouldn’t want to miss the chance to see what a runnin’ bulldog looks like.