(EDITOR’S NOTE : from time to time, accomplished baseball executive /
fearless consumer advocate Randy L. returns to CSTB to offer his thoughts on the important sporting issues of the day. After this week’s resignations of head basketball coach Mike Rice and Athletic Director Tim Pernetti at Rutgers University, Randy offered, nay, DEMANDED to have his say – GC)

Greeting, Dipshits, drones and other followers of the sexless, directionless existence that seems to consume this blog’s readers (if not its contributors, advertisers and web hosting companies). Under normal circumstances, a 1-4 start for The World’s Premier Professional Sporting Franchise would be of major concern, especially in the Tri-State area where the daily travails of the New York Yankees tend to dominate the waking thoughts of media and easily manipulated consumers alike.

Not this week, however. The abusive acts of Rutgers’ Mike Rice have rightfully maintained center stage, and I think I speak for the entire Yankee Universe when I ask, “why couldn’t the tape have been leaked on Opening Day?” Not only would we have been spared nearly as many shots of a near-empty New Yankee Stadium on the evening highlights shows, but hours devoted to Rice firing basketballs at the heads and crotches of his young charges would’ve left little time to showcase quotes from a useless fraud who isn’t fit to wear the Yankee uniform.

There is no question in my mind that Rice had to go, and if the school president continues to insist he was thoroughly unaware of what was going on, well, it wouldn’t be the first time that a brilliant young executive had to take the heat for the incompetency of his bosses. Sure, I could well be describing a regular occurrence in offices that look very similar to mine, but I’m also talking about Rutgers AD Tim Pernetti falling on his sword in a manner that strikes me as unnecessary as it is noble.

The brief hit to Rutgers’ reputation is nothing compared to the vast sums of money at stake with the school’s TV deals and move to the Big Ten, none of which could’ve been achieved without Pernetti’s leadership and real-world expertise. So he initially mishandled the Rice situation —- why punish future generations of New Jersey student athletes by removing a visionary department head?

I realize that amateur athletics and professional sports aren’t always analogous. For starters, the former are far more exploitative (though we’re trying very hard to catch up!), but there are some lessons that can be learned from the professional ranks. Let’s say, hypothetically, there’s a world class baseball franchise, one far more decorated than their pathetic, creatively and financially bankrupt crosstown rivals (not to mention their alleged divisional foe some 200 miles north). What if that franchise had a general manager who made national headlines when cheating on his wife with some mentally insane librarian, leaving him with almost zero credibility within the organization? What if the same general manager suffered a serious injury shortly afterwards when jumping out of an airplane, the very sort of foolhardy stunt that would cause us to void the contract of one of our players (if we could get away with it)?

Would that GM’s immediate superior be within his rights to demand a resignation? Would the team president accept said resignation and subsequently pull the plug on his own glittering career to save face for a pair of siblings whose combined IQ probably isn’t even half of that of Robert L. Barchi? You’re telling me because one jackass has brought unwanted attention to his institution, the person chiefly responsible for keeping the lights on needs to suffer the same fate? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS?

Within days, someone will have done something so monumentally stupid, Pernetti’s transgressions (if not those of Rice) will be long forgotten (my money’s on Doug Gottlieb). Meanwhile, someone of far lesser qualifications will swoop in and the reap the spoils for all of Pernetti’s hard work. Thank fucking G-d a certain 27 Time World Champion baseball team isn’t run that way, right?

Tim, if you’re reading this (and I know you are), I firmly believe that one error in judgement (ie. your failure to lower the boom on Rice ages ago) doesn’t call for another (your gutless decision to leave Rutgers). That said, I also believe that persons with your skill-set deserve a second chance in the sports industry, and if you’re interested in a position as Michael Kay‘s Personal Taster, I’m pretty sure we can work something out.

Randy L.