Brian Turner calls our attention to the sordid tale of Indianapolis Colts wide-receiver Marvin Harrison’s alleged ass-whupping of 3 youthful autograph seekers.

Marvin Harrison’s sixth trip to Honolulu for the NFL’s Pro Bowl might be one of his more memorable for all the wrong reasons.

According to the lawsuit, the three boys approached Harrison outside a Louis Vuitton store at the Hilton Hawaiian Village for his autograph and to take his photograph. Harrison was on his cell phone at the time and told the boys to wait. Shortly thereafter, the two men with Harrison, who are not identified but remain part of the lawsuit nonetheless, arrived on the scene and the alleged assault ensued.

The lawsuit alleges that “without any provocation, the two yet to be identified males and subsequently Mr. Harrison violently and physically attacked the minor plaintiffs.”

I know this sounds like an open and shut case, but where were the parents during all of this? As someone who is fucking sick to death of autograph-hound adolescents interrupting my cell phone calls while shopping at Louis Vuitton, I applaud Harrison’s decisive measures …and suggest that these grifters and their ill-mannered offspring be the ones deserving of the full wrath of the legal justice system.

And while we’re on the subject of Hawaii, what kind of degenerates willingly attend the Pro Bowl? Other than Donovan McNabb, I mean. Or bring their kids to such a rotten event?