…you know it’s time for the Sultan Of Surly to devour marshmallows disguised as questions.  Barry Bonds (above, left) seems a longshot for first ballot election to the Baseball Hall Of Fame, but you won’t catch the game’s all-time HR leader begging for forgiveness. “I want to be part of Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame, but I don’t want to be part of the kind of Hall of Fame that’s based on voters’ beliefs and assumptions,” asserts Bonds, not even mentioning that Bloom gives an excellent foot massage.  From MLB.com :

“I don’t even know how to explain it. The world has become so negative,” Bonds said. “One day, I’ll be able to say things the right way. But it’s tough when you have so many people out there who don’t want to turn the page and want to be angry at you forever. I don’t understand why it continues on. What am I doing wrong?

“I can sit here and say, ‘You know what? Baseball is great. I love it.’ I can sit here and say in a very kind way that I’m sorry about the way things ended. I can sit here and say that I respect the Hall of Fame, which I do. But I don’t understand all the controversy we’re having about it. For what reason? What’s there to be gained by all of this? What’s the point?”

“If you believe I’m a bad person, if you believe I’m a drug person, then I don’t need to be a part of it. If you don’t want to put me in for those reasons then that’s fine. No worries. I’m OK with it. If you want to put me in for what I did as a player, that would be great. I’d love to be in there with everyone else who deserves it.”