“What kind of aesthetically challenged dolt doesn’t have a portrait of themselves as a mythical creature from Greek mythology?’ asked WNBC’s Josh Alper, formerly of the late, lamented The Feed, responding to claims by Us Weekly that Yankee 3B Alex Rodriguez had not one, but two such framed illustrations in his boudoir, featuring his own visage re-imagined as a centaur.

Thanks to Faith & Fear In Flushing‘s Jason Fry, here’s an example of exactly what Kate Hudson saw the first time she visited A-Rod’s bachelor pad.