Or notebook. Or his tape recorder. One of those things. Yahoo baseball scribe Jeff Passan tells The Big Lead about a close encounter with Lima Time that magically, did not end with the journalist contracting herpes.

Q: Athletes are notorious for dugout blowups. Ever have anyone go off on you?Jose Lima threatened to kill me once. That was a good one. It was for the most benign thing in the world, too. I needed an off-day notebook lede, and Lima was starting. It was April, the Royals were the worst team in baseball already and Lima went off on the team for being too uptight. They didn™t take too kindly to it, because Lima was pretty much the worst pitcher ever that year. Seriously, his ERA was 6.99, which is the highest in history for a full season.

Unfortunately, I was upstairs when the big blowup happened. A radio reporter came up and told me that Lima was saying I™d misquoted him and that he was going to kick my ass. So I went downstairs, walked up to him and told him I™d be happy to play him the interview on my tape recorder. He said he didn™t want to hear it and that I was a piece of shit and that was that.

We made up later in the week. Lima Time™s a good guy. He just loves the sound of his own voice.