Preseason prediction columns bring out the absurdity in us all, but this? Well … Juan Pierre for MVP; that’s a joke that pretty much writes itself. Joseph A. Reaves of The Arizona Republic is calling his shot, with nary an argument to back it up:

“Vladimir Guerrero wins the AL MVP and Juan Pierre takes NL honors for the Dodgers.”

Juan Pierre will win MVP the day the Cubs send Mark Prior to Triple-A … oh, wait.