A lot of people like to dump on grumpy Kevin Brown, but I stick up for him. For one thing, he makes John Rocker seem positively cosmopolitan by comparison. From the Macon Telegraph’s Liz Fabian (link swiped from Baseball Think Factory)

(go on, make some joke about motherfucking snakes. Kev’s just looking for an excuse to pull the trigger)

The grass apparently is not greener on the other side of the fence for retired Major League Baseball pitcher Kevin Brown (above), who reportedly pulled out a pistol in a dispute with a neighbor over yard debris.

Bibb County sheriff’s deputies were called to settle a tussle about tossed turf Monday between Brown and Michael Haws.

“It was kind of an awkward evening,” Haws told The Telegraph on the phone Wednesday night. “Luckily nobody got arrested and nobody got shot.”

Haws said he called the sheriff’s office after a loud argument that began when he found Brown throwing grass clippings over the fence into Haws’ yard on Breighton Court, which backs up to Brown’s multimillion-dollar estate on Brown’s Ridge.

When Haws confronted Brown, the two men argued and Brown pulled out a gun and told Haws he’d better not come onto Brown’s property, the report stated.

Brown, baseball’s first $100 million man, told deputies that he carries a gun while strolling through the woods because he often sees snakes.

Haws admitted throwing the grass clippings over the vine-covered wire fence that stands 3 to 4 feet tall.

“I told police I was in the wrong. I should have thought twice before doing that but it just looked like woods to me,” he said.

Haws said Brown’s mansion is about 300 to 500 yards from the back of his yard. He said that he didn’t know that his neighbor was a former baseball star, but since the incident, others have told him of Brown’s fame.

Brown told deputies that Haws became very angry during the shouting match and said, “I should take you out right now.” Haws confirmed that remark.

By the time the khaki-uniformed umpires finished interviewing the men, neither wanted to press charges, the report stated.

As deputies concluded the report, they stated that Brown resolved to “put up a taller fence.”

Haws said he plans to buy a mulching mower.

Were the film not already 18 years in the can (and Richard Pryor deep in the ground), a scene like this would’ve made a nice addition to Andy Breckman’s “Moving”.