Ozzie Guillen is already on record deploring Wrigley’s poor parking, if not the rat population. The Daily Southtown’s Paul Ladewski goes a bit futher, advocating the Cubs vacate The Friendly Confines (link swiped from Repoz and Baseball Think Factory)

The executioners did wrong to the Steve Bartman ball, may it rest in pieces. The lever should have been pressed on the monument that stands as the real symbol of the mostly miserable, rotten, stinkin’ baseball that Cubs fans have endured the last 61 years.

Wrigley Field, naturally.

As Baby Boomers will tell you, Wrigley Field is at its absolute best when it’s two-thirds empty. But pack it with 30,000-plus fans, and unless you’re one of the party animals to whom it caters, the atmosphere is about as comfortable as a detached retina. The place reeks of Old Style. The concrete has more cracks than the Cubs infield. The aisles are too narrow, the concourses too small. Stay at the Crumbling Confines much longer and be prepared to spend big bucks for a renovation project.

Even Phyllis Diller can have only so many facelifts, you know.

Obviously, it would take a lot more than a move out of Wrigley Field to turn this Cubs team into a contender. But what it would do is rid the organization of the temptation to build one that was long on power and short on depth and balance, rarely, if ever, Cubs staples.

So build a larger replica of Wrigley Field in a northwest suburb, it says here. They drink beer out that way, too, I’m told. Put ivy on the walls. Even take the old marquee and scoreboard. Because even all bad things must come to an end.

I defer to our Chicago readers on all of the above points. But I do hope you’ll agree, it is a very special day when Phyllis Diller receives multiple mentions at CSTB.