While there’s hardly anything novel about another article explaining that yes, Lenny Dykstra is a self-styled investment expert, you can count on most of them to uncover a quality Nails quote or two.  “An ex-ball player slides into stocks” by Fortune’s Pat Jordan, is no exception. (link taken from Always Amazin’)

When I mentioned to one of his former teammates that Nails was a stock guru, he laughed and said, “Would you give Lenny your money to invest?” But the Dude may have the last laugh. He claims his total net worth is close to $50 million from his businesses and investments combined.

The next morning, the Dude is in his hotel room trading on his three computers while watching Bloomberg TV, talking to his broker and explaining his other holdings. He owns several Castrol Quick Lube centers, a landscaping business and a property development company.

Real estate has always been very, very good to Dykstra even when the market wasn’t. Since his playing days, he has understood the importance of a good location. He bought his first car wash for $1 million in 1995, and it is currently in escrow for $11 million.

“That’s why they call it real estate, dude, because it’s real.
I’d go down to the city and ask about the future of an area – what’s coming here, when? I looked up this one parcel owned by a little old lady in Corona. She paid $43,000 for it forever ago. I had this big sweepstakes check made up, put $1 million on it, and knocked on her door. I thought she’d have a heart attack. I paid her the million for 2½ acres, subdivided it, built a car wash, a Conoco fueling center, and then sold it,” he says. All righty, then.

The Dude’s next move is putting together an annuity of his own, which he calls the Player’s Club. “Guys are done playing at 35,” he says, “and there’s nothing worse than to make a man change his lifestyle. When that money’s flying in, they don’t think about paying the bills when they get older, ’cause they never been 35 and outta work. If you don’t have cash coming in, you either gotta change your lifestyle drastically or go broke. You can’t pay for the big house with the big lawn and the big driveway. The wife says, ‘What happened, honey?’ What’re you gonna tell her? Get a job? She’s gotta take care of the kids.”

The Dude grabs a piece of paper and a pen and begins scribbling. On one side of the paper he writes “Paycheck” and “$3,000,000.” On the other side he writes “Monthly Expense $100,000.” Figure in taxes, and “in 12 months it’s gone,” he says. He slashes at the paper as if drawing an explosion. Then he writes next to the explosion in huge letters: “Divorce.”