(photograph by Jesper Eklow)

Some guys really know how to celebrate their birthdays. While the rest of us schmoes have to console ourselves with a trip to the Ground Round or the emergency room (sometimes both in one day), Uni Watch‘s intrepid Paul Lukas served as a volunteer flusher when the plumbing at Flushing’s Glittering Monument To Avarice & Greed underwent preseason tests this past Saturday.

The main thing I learned as we waited for the flushing test to commence was that plumbers don™t use the word œtoilet; instead, they say, œbowl (as in, œI hear they got over 300 bowls in this stadium or œHoly shit, 20 bowls in one bathroom!).

Eventually, a guy on the P.A. gave us instructions on precisely when to flush. Over the course of about 10 minutes, I flushed this toilet bowl about 20 times. There was some random chuckling along the way, because the sound of flushing is sort of inherently humorous, and then we were told that the test was over and that the plumbing system had passed with flying colors, prompting a lot of cheering and high fives. (Sorry, ladies, I didn™t test out the tampon machine, but I assume it was shipshape.)