Earlier this season, you’d have been excused for calling the Texas Rangers GM Jon Daniels a doofus for not having locked up OF Josh Hamilton contractually. Fast forward to the start of August however, and Hamilton’s all messed up at the plate, being criticized by his owner, has his manager making vague allusions “issues” that are not “physical”, and the good people of Baseball Think Factory are placing bets whether or not the recidivist superstar is coping with trying to quit chewing tobacco or is simply a sex addict.
I have no insights whatsoever into Hamilton’s character or real life, therefor I feel perfectly qualified to float the following possibilities, ie. WHAT’S EATING JOSH HAMILTON?
1) He’s the only American upset “The Killing” isn’t coming back for a third season.
2) Hamilton would desperately like to publicly support Chick-Fil-A’s stance against gay marriage…but their chicken simply isn’t very goood.
3) COULDN’T UNDERSTAND A FUCKIN’ WORD BANE SAID
4) Signed up for Big Brother, Big Sister of Dallas. Was assigned Dez Bryant.
And that’s all I’ve got. But they’re all preferable to the sex thing.