On the same day we rejoice in Snapple’s dissing of Staten Island, let us praise the good people of Long Island. Without Long Island, we’d have no Amy Fisher, Nihilistics, Misguided, Lee Ranaldo, Phantom Tollbooth, Howard Stern, pine-cone H.S. football sodomy, Joel Rifkin, the hottest moments of Julius Erving’s career, teenage turkey tossers, reasons to chant “Beat Your Wife, Potvin”, Bill Pulsipher in a Long Island Ducks uniform, or perhaps best of all, hot dog vendors doubling as prostitutes.

On the site of the former Raynor’s Fried Chicken, no less.