(sincere apologies to Tony Randall)
Faber College’s Dean Wormer once opined, “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life,” but he probably earned a pittance compared to right-hander Sidney Ponson, who will get yet another shot at turning his career around. Minnesota has signed the Aruban Nightmare to a minor league contract, and with Francisco Lirano’s status unknown, the Twins’ rotation could be one Johan Santana injury away from Sidney-Boof-And-Two-Days-Of-Rain (Or A Travel Day).
Though the Red Sox signing Joel Piniero might seem like the big Boston story of the day (well, other than Eric Mangini all but declaring everlasting love for a certain Hooded Casanova), said acquisition pales in comparison to the news of Peter Gammons returning to the stage. The Globe’s Meredith Goldstein notes that next Weekend’s Hot Stove Cool Music events at Boston’s Paradise will not feature the vocal stylings of Bronson Arroyo, which should come as a huge relief to music lovers of all ages.
I’d like to formerly congratulate the budding Woodward & Bernsteins at Awful Announcing, Deadspin and With Leather for their diligence in staying on top of what has to be the biggest story in the short history of the sports blogosphere : a college cheerleader without panties. For years internet surfers have struggled to find photographs of nearly-nude young women. Who knows? Perhaps with this latest breakthrough, we’ll see all sorts of similar photographs on the internet. Perhaps that sounds incredible to you, but just think how far we’ve come in the last two days?