The St. Paul Pioneer Press profiles T-Wolves bench jockey Mark Madsen, with the following excerpts revealing he’s not just the Association’s least dynamic personality, he’s a glutard’s worst nightmare.

My teammates would be surprised to know that I like to cook. I like to make bread. I make one kind of bread. Whole wheat. I do it by hand. I grind the wheat. I have a grinder. I have 500 pounds of wheat in my basement that’s vacuum-sealed. So, anytime I want bread I just go and take a little bit of wheat and grind it. I made 18 loaves one time in four hours. I freeze them and give a few away. You could go to a grocery store and pay two or three bucks. Or, you can make your own. I haven’t actually done the math on the cash savings.

I have kept journals for 15, 20 years. I write every day. Now I’ve switched over to my computer. I have an encrypted file on my computer, double password protected, and I write into my journal every day. And I keep it very real in my journal. I’m not going to publish it. I want it for when I get married and have kids. I’ll take the password lock off so my wife can read everything and, when I die, my kids can read it.

“Scooby Doo” was my favorite cartoon growing up. I’d come home from school and didn’t want to do any homework, so I would unwind and watch “Scooby Doo.” The dog talked. I had a dog at the time. A poodle. I would go hiking with my poodle. It didn’t have its hair cut like a poodle. Nobody knew it was a poodle.

I voted for Mitt Romney because I think he understands. For me, there are a few main issues. There’s the economy. I studied economics in college (at Stanford). The economy right now is a major issue. We have families going into foreclosure. We have people losing jobs. That is a No. 1 issue for me. That and health care. It is a sad commentary that we cannot get universal health care for everybody.

If I could trade places for a day with someone, I’d like to know what’s going on with Vladimir Putin. Russia just fascinates me. You’ve got the old KGB over there. You’ve got re-nationalized oil companies throwing off billions of dollars. Just to know what’s going on in that Russian government, man, I would like to know that.