If only the Atlanta Braves had something in their history that was worth making light of in a homemade video. For instance, footage of the domestic violence counseling sessions for Mr. & Mrs. Bobby Cox, John Rocker beaning Will Leitch, Bob Horner trying to order a triple bacon cheeseburger in Japanese, Ted Turner doing the tomahawk chop, Andy Messersmith with “Channel” on his jersey nameplate, a lineup card with Raul Mondesi and Brian Jordan as starting outfielders (in the year 2005), Mark Wohlers throwing a ball over 7 feet over the backstop, David Justice promising the police he’ll never pick up a hitchhiker again…but alas, all of the above are just terrible rumors I’ve invented.
So I guess this mythical video auteur will just have to settle for something readily available. Like, tapes of the Braves choking in the post-season.
How about “fat tub of goo” Terry Forrester whipping up fish tacos on Letterman? Or Pascual Perez showing up hours late for a game because he failed to realize that I-285 is really just a big circle?
Biff Pocoroba makes his own sausage and does (did?) business as ‘Sausage World.’
Also, we would be remiss if we didn’t mention the Mad Hungarian at this point:
http://www.alhrabosky.com/.
I searched in vain for a pic of T.F. in a braves uni.
re : Perez. A good call,but I think on the east coast we’d still call that “taking driving lessons from Rogelio Moret”.
Interesting tidbit about Biff Pocoroba. I’m told that Tim Hudson is quite the sausage connoisseur , so he might wanna give Biff a ring.
Deion Sanders drenching Tim McCarver with buckets of water.
Jeez, that Hudson joke just doesn’t get old, does it?!
Thanks for pointing me in the direction of the strange and, um, strange world of Roger Moret (although you might have replaced “on the east coast” with “those of a certain age”). If anyone else is curious, there’s a nice bio here: http://www.redsoxnation.net/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t18976.html.
I like the part where it says x-rays of his head ‘proved negative.’ I also learned that, somewhat coincidentally, he was eventually traded to the Braves for Tom House, the guy who caught Aaron’s record-breaking homer in the bullpen.
Sorry I misspelled Forster’s name, though it is somewhat telling that even with the correct sequence of letters I can’t find a Braves pic, either. I may have to bust out the old card collection and break new ground on the internets.
Damnit, I spoke too soon again: http://www.baseballcardproject.com/Topps/R/1985/248.jpg
One more thing and then I promise I’ll shut up for a couple of weeks. On the telecast of one of the games at Shea this week, Joe Simpson described a batted ball as getting caught up in the ‘slipstream.’ That made me think of Silkworm, and that;s always a good thing.
John,
you can call the Hudson reference a joke, but I prefer to think of it as top-flight investigative journalism.
Not only did Tom House catch Hammerin’ Hank’s 715th, but he came out of the ‘roid closet last spring, too.
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/2005-05-03-steroids-house_x.htm?csp=34
Gerard
Thanks for the link. I totally missed that. There’s all kinds of f’ed up irony in that one, no? Maybe it’s time to set aside my petty differences with Neuharth and pony up for a USA Today subscription.
if nothing else this post made me think of both bob horner and andy messersmith…….2 names i hadn’t even thought of for years.
did everyone forget about billy grabarkawitz?