Perhaps you thought oft traveled Dan Shaughnessy nemesis Carl Everett would return to to the headlines making his theatrical debut in “The Vagine Monologues”?   The Tampa Bay Times’ Ilena Morales provides details of Jurassic Carl’s latest unfortunate episode.

During an argument with his wife of 18 years Monday night, Everett pointed a silver handgun at her head, according to a police report. She feared for her life and tried to call 911 on her iPhone, but he broke it; she tried to call from another cellphone, but he broke that one, too, the report states.

The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office arrested Everett, 39, at his home in Lutz, records show. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and tampering with a witness.

Not to make light of domestic violence, but I fully expect the Everett defense team to argue Carl cannot be held accountable for AT&T’s shitty reception.