Prior to Paul Lo Duca’s first inning HR tonight off Washington’s Brian Traber, Nationals radio voice Charlies Slowes (above) described the Mets catcher as “just happy to keep his name off the New York Post’s Page 6”.

Actually, Page 6 would probably be preferable to making the cover of the Post and Daily News every day that doesn’t feature a major terrorist attack.

Slowes went on to explain that he couldn’t elaborate as to the nature of Lo Duca’s infamy (“this is a family broadcast”), but that it was “a sticky situation”.

In the unlikely event there are any Nationals fans (this means you, Don Smith) who need a recap, here are some of the things Paul Lo Duca has been accused of this week :

1) adultery
2) a passion for the ponies (and no, this has nothing to do with the Human Whoopee Cushion’s fiancee)
3) a tryst with a 19 year old
4) participating in high stakes card games while with the Marlins
5) having the bookies show up at the ballpark looking to collect
6) answering to the name of Captain Red Ass

All things considered, I think Slowes was better off leaving his listeners in the dark. Explaining all of the above might’ve taken him through the 5th inning.