Hard to beat the subhed from the Telegraph:

Footballer Wayne Rooney has got a new tattoo which alludes to the fact he’s not too bright.

Further explanation from the NME (.com):

Wayne Rooney has got a new tattoo – the title of an album by his favourite band Stereophonics.

The prominent tattoo, on the inside of his right forearm, reads ‘Just Enough Education To Perform’, the title of the band’s 2001 Number One album.

I guess the nice thing is that Rooney’s favorite band is every inch as good right now as they were seven years ago.