Doesn’t sound so bad, right? But what if the old man in question is ultra-reptilian 213-year old douchemonster Al Davis (above), and the letter in question is a letter of resignation…for someone else. More bad. ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports on the weird goings-on in Oakland, where Davis is trying to help Lane Kiffin resign against Kiffin’s wishes.

(Davis has drafted) a letter of resignation for Kiffin to sign, a source said. Kiffin has refused to do so but has dared Davis to fire him instead. The letter, the source said, was sent to Kiffin two weeks ago.

Kiffin, who was 4-12 in his first season as coach, has two years remaining on his contract at an estimated $2 million per year.

In the letter sent to Kiffin’s legal representatives, Davis stated that only he would have control over his staff and full personnel decisions, sources said. According to a source close to Kiffin, Davis had promised Kiffin when he hired him that he would have more control over staff and personnel matters than recent Raiders coaches. Kiffin was allowed five offensive assistants and to name his own staff when he took the job after the 2006 season.

This apparently stems from a disagreement Kiffin and Davis had over firing Rob Ryan, the David Heavener-looking architect of the Raiders’ 22nd-ranked defense (well, 26th if you want to go by scoring, and dead last against the run). Kiffin wanted to do it; it didn’t happen. I’m not going to tell Lane Kiffin how to do his job — he’s like four months older than me, so I don’t want to seem above my station — but maybe he should try growing a beard and long hair?