What were the odds that a halftime spectacular headlined by Ashlee Simpson would begin with someone else’s microphone malfunction, in this case Kelly Clarkson? Nice touch, however, the circle “A” on the drum riser, as no one exemplifies anarchy quite as much as the younger Ms. Simpson.

The game is pretty much over and ABC has not provided one shot of her dad, Orenthal James, lighting a victory cigar.

You’d have to go all the way back to Roseanne Barr butchering the National Anthem to find another sporting event where the crowd reaction was as negative as tonight’s. This is what happens when you lose Steven Tyler’s phone number.