ESPN’s Jim Gray, though tired of receiving offensive text messages from Pete Rose, has the presence of mind to report that Sacramento have acquired F Ron Artest from Indiana in exchange for Peja Stojakovic.

No confirmation, as of yet, whether or not Artest’s Tru Warier will be joining the Darla family of labels, but we can always hope. Though one arrival from the Bay Area described the Sacramento residents as œpeople with frosted hair, really gross long nails, mullets and trucks; lots of overweight, out of shape, pale and greasy people and lots of people who are much less educated than we are”, this should be no problem for an open-minded guy like Ron.

(UPDATE : Wow, perhaps Ron already made a call or two to Darla and got the scoop on the frosted hair and poor manicures. Stephen A. Smith is on “SportsCenter” at this moment claiming that Artest don’t want to go to Sacramento “and would rather play for Golden State”. Even if Artest doesn’t have a no-trade clause, it seems like the Kings would’ve sought some assurance this trade wouldn’t blow up in an hour or two. I suppose it’s that poor Sacramento education, alluded to above).

(6:15 EST UPDATE : Jim Gray is explaining that upon learning Ron Artest was less than thrilled with the prospect of moving to a town filled with frosted hairdos, long, dirty nails and poor physical fitness, Sacramento have bailed on the proposed trade. So thank you, Jim Gray, for making this Tuesday so productive. And special thanks to Rick Majerus, who used his appearance on ESPN Radio today to dennounce Artest as “a fruitcake”. I guess that’s the clinical definition for a person with Artest’s condition, at least according to the Utah Mental Health Journal.)

(8:06 pm EST UPDATE : There’s nothing better than Jim Gray getting his story straight. Yacking on ESPN2’s “NBA Coast To Coast”, Gray claims that Pacers management aren’t convinced that agent Mark Stevens is speaking on Artest’s behalf ; apparently, the club have yet to confer with the player. Gray has launched into a diatribe about Artest’s disloyalty, unreliability, etc., which is fantastic stuff considering the reporter can’t say with any credibility whether or not Artest has rejected the trade.)