At least when you’re reading him, you don’t have to turn the volume down. The Denver Post’s Woody Paige on the Colorado Rockies, fast closing in on 100 losses.

The Rockies have produced one of the worst road records in the long and illustrious history of baseball. The Rockies have given us a catcher who couldn’t throw out his grandmother stealing second. If she were using a walker and carrying a picnic basket.

The Rockies have given us 19 or more Double-A players and forced us to buy tickets and hot dogs at major-league prices. The Rockies have given us a bunch of starting pitchers, with the exception of one, who can’t actually pitch. The Rockies gave away starting pitchers who could pitch – and got more Double-A players in return.The Rockies have given us a whole lot of players who can hit pretty good; however, none seems to be able to hit a home run in the best bandbox in baseball.

The Rockies have given us a fraud.

They should take away the “olorado” in the team’s name and just call themselves the “Crockies.”

This is a crock.

The O’Dud Rules are: Get youngsters from the farm system, bring them up too soon, tell everyone how much potential they have, throw them to the wolves and hope.

It’s the “JD Closser Rule.”

O’Dud likes hitters who can punch. And Judy. The Rockies are virtually devoid of power hitters, unless you think 15 home runs is a breakout season.