I’ve implied that Crystal Palace chairman Simon Jordan is soccer’s answer to Mark Cuban on more than one occasion. Aside from the fact that Cuban’s team might actually win something of note, I no longer think the comparison does Jordan justice. As a quote machine, he’s killing Cuban. From the Daily Mail’s Neil Aston.

“What do I think of (Birmingham City chairmen) David Sullivan and David Gold?” asked Jordan (above). “Well, what do you expect me to think of two people who sell dildos for a living? I see other clubs’ chairman as the enemy. I want to go in there and beat them up. Some of them like David Sullivan.

They are disingenuous, duplicitous and I don’t appreciate the ethics with which they do their business. I don’t appreciate the personal comments they have made to me and I don’t like the the way they do business. As for (former Palace manager) Steve Bruce, no problem. ”

It was reported that Jordan, who has pumped more than 30 million of his personal fortune into Palace, apologised to Arsenal’s David Dein after claiming that football was “a bullshit world full of bullshit people.”

“Like I would apologise to David Dein,” he scoffed. “David Dein is the kind of person who will do favours that you just don’t want. Everytime I see David Dein at a social event he has a player for me who has probably got one lege and he will do me a favour by letting me have him for twice the price. He thinks he is smooth.”

Birmingham’s Sullivan reponded to the Mail’s Neil Moxley :

“I’m flabbergasted at what Simon has said, although I’m very impressed by his vocabulary. I’ve got an economics degree and I didn’t understand two of the words he used.”