Major League Baseball  could’ve booked The Teenage Cool Kids.  They could’ve opted for the Mind Spiders, Uptown Bums or the Bad Sports (whom, I believe, have either met Demi Lovato or at least played a show in the same zip code). But no dice, instead Fox and MLB  have opted for the unique skill-set of Justin Bieber, who is scheduled to unveil his newest masterpiece prior to the start of Saturday’s World Series Game 3 in Arlington, TX. Persons of taste are generally appalled at the notion of this simpering wuss teen megastar disgracing the hallowed ground of a ballpark formerly presided over by Tom Hicks, but Dustin Parkes of Getting Blanked isn’t one of them.

I realize it™s hard for anyone with a brain larger than Bieber™s fist (about the size of a cue ball) to imagine sitting through three minutes of some garbage bubble gum pop tune where a preteen lady boy croons lyrics drenched in fabricated ideas of love and romance as though he™s felt the truth of either of those in his short and sheltered life.  But here™s the thing that will blow your mind:  It™s not all about you.

Occasionally, things happen in this world that have no concern with your best interests.  This is one of them, and there™s a chance that it might help to make this game more popular.  So for the purposes of those few minutes prior to Game Three of the World Series, hating on Bieber is hating on baseball.  And good luck ever finding your way to an Iowa cornfield after pulling that shit.