I do not know the identity of SB Nation’s PFT Commenter, but not for the first time, I find myself in awe of his or her insights. Covering the Super Bowl 50 festivities in San Francisco, the pseudononymous sage was not overly awed by the lavish parties (“Im not an art guy. Painters make me angry because they dont work at a job they hate and are therefor not contributing anything to society,”), nor were the media’s creature comforts spared the trenchant analysis (“giving a thousand journlists 7 toilet stalls is like trying to invade Normany with a army consisting of Mike Tysons first 6 opponets and the Cleveland Browns,”). But given the big game’s proximity to Sillicon Valley, “I came up with a couple ideas for a app. Maybe I could strike it rich while Im here,”.

First one is basically Tinder for people who hate Cam Newton. It allows people who complain about Cam Newton to connect online and perhaps spark the begining of what could be a beautiful relatonship based on a mutual distrust of Cam Newtons antics and me-first demeanor.

The first rule of thumb when you have a app is you need to drop a vowel out of the name no matter what. Chip Kelly has been meeting with Sillicon Valley thought-leaders to figure out ways to learn from there success and I’d be shocked if by 2017 Chip Kelly hasnt changed their named to the Ninrs. Your going to see that offense operating 20% faster and blowing past the NFC west- which has the highest ratio of vowels to consinents in the entire league. Its all about matchups.

Recepton was luke-warm from people that I spoke with, but then I realized that the people who design apps dont have a clue about what app users really want. Its basicaly like if you named Antonio Cromartie chairman and CEO of Durex and expected record profits. We spend all this time talking about monopolys well have you ever noticed that all the people who make apps are the ones who are intelligent enough to know how to design them?