Beer Leaguer passed along the sordid tale earlier today of Phillies SP Brett Myers being arrested in Boston for punching his wife, Kim. Details aren’t available, but suffice to say, the argument over whether or not interleague play has run its course can become very heated amongst couples (and I speak from personal experience).
Without wishing to seem cavalier about the serious subject of spousal abuse, Myers’ bust does give us an opportunity to select the All-Time Wife Beater All-Stars. Atlanta’s Bobby Cox can skipper the squad, and Julio Lugo is firmly ensconced at 2B, as is Darryl Strawberry in right. Will Cordero and the late Kirby Puckett are both pretty versatile (though Kirby might have to settle for DH). Further nominees, please!
(With apologies to Kim Ng, there’s only one choice for GM of this virtual team : Tawny Kitaen).
Dwight Gooden for sure. Carl Everett would be a good DH, if he’s not too busy anchoring the “Baby Jesus’ Dad created the world in six 24 hour periods so dinosaurs couldn’t have existed” all-stars. Or is he eligible for both?
I believe Carl Everett has only beaten his kids, not his wife, so he is ineligible under the strict conventions CSTB has laid out.
Anyway, I nominate Wally Backman to be third-base coach.
Is there room in the outfield for David Justice?
Dmitri Young, lady-shaker of the moment, would make a valuable addition. Surprising number of DHs on this team. Is it the culture of hitting that lets these guys think it’s okay? Also, Ray Lankford and Joey Belle have both shown their ability to work a stalk, so maybe that’s your scouting staff.
bobby coxing managing and of course, milton bradley, designated headcase.
With a career a career line of .366/.433/.512, Ty Cobb is a shoe-in for the outfield. Problem is, I can’t remember Tommy L. Jones’ portrayal well enough to remember if his wife and not a woman of another flavor of relationship got beat.
Al Martin the bigamist abused at least one of his wives, though he’s not a starter on this team.
Tawney Kitaen, left field ball girl?
Sorry I had assumed that Kim Ng would’ve been the GM, but GC says it’s Tawny. How about Cindy Garvey for left-field ball girl?
David Roth wins an autographed copy of “Buster Douglas Boxing” for the Sega Genesis with the line …”Ray Lankford and Joey Belle have both shown their ability to work a stalk, so maybe that’s your scouting staff.”
(it isn’t Buster’s autograph, btw)
and on that note, email me your shipping address, Tim, you won an earlier competition.