(no point in rehearsing in front of a a mirror, pal, they’ve already got a singer)

There’s not much I can add to the text below, as seen on the San Francisco Craigslist Community/Musicians ads recently except to say the qualifications sound uncannily similar to those specified by the leader of this band.

STP TRIBUTE – THE LOUNGE FLYS

Date: 2010-10-12, 8:19AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

STP TRIBUTE BAND

http://www.loungeflys.com/

VOCALIST AND BASSIST FORMING A STP TRIBUTE BAND.
BASED IN SAN JOSE BORDERLINE MILPITAS.

We love to play STP music and can preform it great, that’s why we are doing this.
We plan to book as many bay area (paid) gigs as we can as soon as the band is established.

This is a serious project that will be mostly driven by band members doing their homework in advance so please ONLY SERIOUS MUSICIANS APPLY.

We have pro gear and a place to rehearse. We have been playing for over 20 years.

We plan on gigging no more than a couple months after the band is finalized.

We are 40 years of age looking to play with others in the same age group (30 to 45 or so).

Rehearsals will take place on the weekends either Saturday or Sunday, mid day.

The following will not be tolerated.

Drummers:

– If you do not have a place to learn and practice the songs ON YOUR OWN TIME, then DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME RESPONDING TO THIS AD. And please don™t waste your time trying to convince us you can learn and play a song just by listening to it a few times or on the way to rehearsal.

– If you think that learning beginnings, endings, changes, accents, and signature parts of a song is being too anal and you’d rather play them your own way- move on. We™ve been plagued with drummers over the years who think that playing stuff THEIR WAY sounds better or just as good. I have bad news for you¦ IT™S NOT!!. Just learn the song just like everyone else in the band. You™re no exception. We™re a team- remember? And don™t think just because we™re not drummers, we won™t notice when something isn™t being played right. We will. And so will the audience.

– If you insist on beating the living crap out of your drums and/ or have no sense of dynamics, you will not last one day in this band- I can assure you. Drum volume and dynamics will be a very important part of this project.

– If you insist on constantly playing in between songs or when someone is trying to talk, you will impede the progress of this band. Nobody wants to hear your annoying High-Speed Neil Peart Double Bass Pedal Solo.

Guitar Players:

WE PLAN TO HAVE 2 GUITARS IN THE BAND TO MAKE SURE TO SOUND AS CLOSE TO THE ALBUMS AS POSSIBLE.
– If you think you™re going to get away with playing solos and other guitar parts œYour own way, then DO NOT EVEN WASTE YOU™RE TIME RESPONDING TO THIS AD. Everyone will need to make a SERIOUS and SINCERE effort to learn the songs the way they are supposed to go. No exceptions. This is a tribute band.

– If you do not have a way to learn and practice the songs ON YOUR OWN TIME, then DO NOT EVEN WASTE OUR TIME RESPONDING TO THIS AD.

– If you insist on cranking Your amp up to 10 because œIt™s Rock and Roll Man¦ you won™t last long. You must have a good sense of guitar tone and volume level.

– If you insist on constantly playing in between songs or when someone is trying to talk, you will impede the progress of this band. Nobody wants to hear Your Eddie Van Halen finger tapping solos. Maybe before or after practice you can show us.

EVERYONE:

First time you flake on rehearsal without calling- You™re Out!
If you consistently don™t have a ride to practice- You™re Out!
If you insist on bringing your girlfriend to practice- You™re Out!
If you have serious financial problems- You™re Out!
If you have a serious drug/ alcohol problem- You™re Out!

–    First time we start hearing a bunch of excuses why you didn’t have time to learn the song(s) you were supposed to learn (especially the day we’re supposed to rehearse them)- You™re Out! If something comes up, and you won™t have time to learn Your stuff, then it will be up to you to call everyone and let them know you are not prepared so we can push the rehearsal out until you are finally ready. If someone isn™t prepared, we don™t rehearse that day. Simple as that. If it keeps happening, we find someone else.

Everyone needs to play their parts the way they™re supposed to go- NOT THEIR OWN WAY.

We™re not trying to be negative but these things need to be made clear from the get go. We are not some kind of Gestapo band either. Any pro musician will understand exactly where we are coming from and we want to weed out the amateurs™ right from the start. We really shouldn™t even have to say these things. It should be automatic if you want to play in a tribute band or any professional band for that matter. But hey… this is Craigslist.

Songs played will consist pretty much of everything off the first 3 albums.

Songs Choices are as listed. Set lists will be formed from these picks.

CORE
Dead An bloated
Sex Type Thing
Wicked Garden
Sin
Creep
Piece Of Pie
Plush
Crackerman

PURPLE
Meatplow
Vasoline
Lounge Fly
Interstate Love Song
Still Remains
Pretty Penny
Silvergun Superman
Big Empty
Unglued
Kitchenware & Candybars

TINY MUSIC
Press Play
Pop’s Love Suicide
Tumble In The Rough
Big Bang Baby
Lady Picture Show
Trippin’ On A Hole In A Paper Heart
Ride the Cliché™
Adhesive
Seven Caged Tigers

No. 4
Down
Sour Girl

SHANGRI-LA DEE DA
Days of the Week
Transmissions from a Lonely Room

STONE TEMPLE PILOTS
Between The Lines
Take A Load Off
Huckleberry Crumble
Hickory Dichotomy
Dare If You Dare

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests