While Barry Bonds’ agent, Jeff Borris of the Beverly Hills 90210 Sports Council (above), would have us believe that managers and players alike are blowing up the Sultan Of Surly’s Cell, pleading with Barry to join their teams, the San Francisco Chronicle’s John Shea echoes sentiments expressed earlier ; “If there’s genuine interest in Barry Bonds outside the Giants’ executive offices, it’s a highly guarded secret.”

Teams are saying “no” at a rapid rate, and perhaps it’s an easy call if they’re scared off by Bonds’ age, legs and legal woes. George Mitchell’s steroid investigation is still unfinished, and the feds’ perjury probe appears to remain open and ongoing, as evidenced by Greg Anderson’s latest jailing — two considerations that must be weighed against Bonds’ pursuit of Hank Aaron’s home run record.

“He’s not someone we’ve targeted,” Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti said.

“We haven’t been in on him,” Indians GM Mark Shapiro said.

“Barry Bonds won’t be signing with the Rangers,” Texas owner Tom Hicks said.

The Boston Globe and Los Angeles Times reported the Red Sox and Angels, respectively, aren’t interested. A Blue Jays source told the Globe and Mail they’re not interested, and a Tigers source told the Detroit Free Press they’re not interested — before the Tigers acquired Gary Sheffield.

Recently, White Sox GM Kenny Williams told the Chicago Tribune there’s no match, saying Bonds is kind to his kids and “I would just as soon keep it that way.” The interest also is lacking on Chicago’s North Side, where the Cubs still are trying to forget Sammy Sosa.

“I’m sure the Giants want him to break the record (in San Francisco),” Bobby Bonilla said. “They’ll do the right thing.”

And with that, for the very first time, I’m willing to consider the possibility that Barry Bonds, for all his prodigious talent, might be jobless in 2007. When Bobby Bonilla is your most enthusiastic character reference, you are well and truly fucked.