Though the Sun-Times’ Jay Mariotti is generally a target of ridicule around these parts, he does rare common sense this Wednesday in picking (another) fight with the one man in Chicago more despised than himself. Well, other than Rex Grossman.
Ensuring that illiteracy remains in the Chicago sports media for four more years, the White Sox have handed a contract extension to alleged broadcaster Ken (Hawk) Harrelson (above). This means listeners in an otherwise sophisticated town will be punished with more hillbilly twang, which is almost as embarrassing as Harrelson’s .239 career batting average and his short-term flop as the general manager who fired Tony La Russa.
Harrelson doesn’t bring in audiences as much as he scares them away or makes them cringe, whether it’s throwing one of his dead-air fits, blaming every loss on the umps or lowering himself to pick fights with media members far more professional and accomplished than him.
Consider it one more reason, along with the extension given to Ozzie Guillen, that the Sox are locked in as Chicago’s second-class ballclub for years to come.
I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
(Ooh!)
I’m Asking Him To Change His
Ways
(Change His Ways-Ooh!)
And No Message Could’ve
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make That . . .)
Change!
I’m Starting With The Man In
The Mirror,
(Man In The Mirror-Oh
Yeah!)
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
(Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make The Change)
(You Gotta Get It Right, While
You Got The Time)
(‘Cause When You Close Your
Heart)
You Can’t Close Your . . .Your
Mind!
(Then You Close Your . . .
Mind!)
That Man, That Man, That
Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
(Man In The Mirror, Oh Yeah!)
That Man, That Man, That Man
I’m Asking Him To Change
His Ways
(Better Change!)
You Know . . .That Man
No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
I really don’t understand the Hawk hate. Sure, he’s a homer, but so is every other local broadcast/radio announcer. He’s created some sweet nicknames and catchphrases, something Mariotti tries and fails to do in every column.
Don’t Chicago fans hate Bartman the worst?
This really ran in a major market general circulation daily? It’s bush league even by Mariotti’s dubious standards. I’m no big fan of the Hawk, but this reads more like a rant suitable for a third-tier blog.