….and it really shouldn’t be me. Like that guy PokerJoel always says, I’m just cutting and pasting around here.
Anyhow, displaying the sort of questionable judgement not seen since the Reverend Norb Ugly explained his true reasons for purchasing Bikini Kill albums, Rival Room‘s Mike Raspatello nominates Michelle Wie as his Jersey Chaser Target Of The Week. To wit, Raspatello submits Ms. Wie as an appropriate lust object for otherwise heterosexual female sports groupies.
I’m not trying to tell you slamhogs to take “craving athlete shlong” out of the “hobbies” section on your MySpace profile. I’m just asking you to consider one of the many benefits associated with the sexual pursuit of an underage female: She won’t hump and dump you ladies. Isn’t that what y’all have secretly hoped for as you’ve spent many a past mornings washing the genetic code of future athletes from your hair and blouses? Instead, she’ll idolize you like one looks up to a big sister. She’s been deprived of anything resembling a pseudo-normal teenagehood. She must want to bond with some normal broads for once. Go shopping, grab lattes, practice giving head to a banana. Isn’t that the kind of post-coital connection that you Chasers have always wanted from the dudes who put you on your backs? She’ll be game, I promise. Even if she has to go down on you first. Keep in mind, she was an LPGA golfer first. It’s her bag, baby!