Fill in your own joke about how we’ll somehow survive without a word from Wake Forest’s foremost quote machine. But as the 2007 Playoffs progress, I’m left with the sneaking suspicion the basketball fans of Utah are every bit as sophisticated as their loveable owner.

While the Fanhouse’s Tom Ziller considers the possibility of Lenny Wilkens appointing himself coach of the Seattle Durants, SonicCentral’s Brian Robinson has lambasted owner Clay Bennett, charging “the guy’s contribution to Seattle basketball has been a complete and 100 percent zero.” I think that’s a bit harsh — doesn’t Robinson think 50% off Rashard Lewis jerseys is a positive move?

The New York Post’s Peter Vescey openly scoffs at Kobe Bryant’s weekend insistence the Lakers had a shot at Carlos Boozer, Baron Davis or Ron Artest.

First off, Jazz executive Kevin O’Connor has maintained from the git-go Boozer was never available. The only reason his name got out there in trade talk was because Kobe and Carlos share the same sleazy agent, Rob Pelinka.

Second, even had the Lakers been able to snare Boozer, closing any one of those deals would’ve cost them Lamar Odom for salary and skill purposes. How much better would that have made them? The truth is, they never should’ve dealt Caron Butler for Kwame Brown. That swap will haunt them into the hereafter.

In the final analysis I’m unsure what to make of Kobe’s bendable benedictions. But I am certain of one thing. I’ll know he lied to me when the jeweler calls and asks me for my ring size.

It be might overstating things a tad to call the Lakers “Team Turmoil”, but you know there’s a problem when Eric Musselman suggests an intervention for owner Jerry Buss. Though in the latter’s defense, maybe he was listening to this while behind the wheel.