I’ve been catching up with some the 2005/06 films that I missed in the theatres (“Transamerica” – Felicity Huffman, way convincing with a cock, “Jarhead” – Peter Scarsgard, not nearly as believable as a Marine) and as such, I’ve missed the boat on some TV/radio baseball punditry that apparently, had to be heard to be believed. For instance, I’m really sorry I didn’t catch Bob Ryan essentially calling Theo Epstein a knucklehead over Boston’s pursuit of J.D. Drew, and I’m even sorrier I missed Steve Phillips’ latest gaffe, as recounted by Feeding The Monster’s Seth Mnookin.

Steve Phillips, whose entire career on ESPN has been devoted to showing the world why he no longer has a job as a major league GM, said ” in public! ” that Barry Bonds might end up patroling left field.

This makes perfect sense. Except that:

* Bonds has said the whole city of Boston is full of racist jerks and he™d never play here
* The Sox would be getting someone who™s arguably the only person in baseball who could be more of a distraction that Manny
* His barcalounger wouldn™t fit in the Sox™s clubhouse
* He™s a near-cripple
* He™d bring a circus at a time when Theo Epstein has shown a consistent interest in reducing the circus-like atmosphere at Fenway.

Tune in tomorrow, when Phillips explains why Nomar might be included in the Dodgers™ proposed deal for Manny.